25 Things I Learned at 25 (That Changed Everything)

A soft girl, healed girl, honest girl list.

Turning 25 did something to my brain. It humbled me, freed me, stretched me, and made me stand face-to-face with the parts of me I’ve outgrown and the parts of me I’ve been avoiding.
So here’s a list. Not advice… literally just things I learned by living, crying, journaling, praying, laughing, falling apart, and trying again.

Take what resonates. Leave what doesn’t. But here’s my little heart on the internet.

1. Be excited about your future, yet find fulfillment and satisfaction in your present.

Yeah… I canceled hustle culture. I retired from glorifying “next.”
Now, I let myself be excited about reaching the fullest, healthiest version of who God called me to be — AND I enjoy the moment I’m in. I realized all the things we chase in the name of success — peace, freedom, joy, beauty, rest, pleasure — you can actually experience those now when you stop idolizing struggle.

2. Two truths really can exist. 99% of the time it’s not “but”... it’s “and.”

I had to stop canceling myself out.
I’ll say something true… then follow it with a “but” that deletes everything I just said. No more.
Life is rarely one thing. I can be healing and grieving. Growing and scared. Soft and powerful.
Breaking up with black-or-white thinking brought me so much compassion — for myself and others.

3. Shame is the root of pride.

At the surface, pride looks like ego and control.
Underneath? Shame.
To kill pride, you have to walk through shame first. Pride is just shame wearing heels.

4. The difference between courage and rebellion is whether or not shame is present.

Courage is birthed in the absence of shame.
Rebellion grows in the presence of it.
They look the same from the outside, but feel completely different internally.

5. There are 3 faces of sin that can destroy a community.

Controller. Rescuer. Victim.
When we slip into any of these, we stop seeing each other clearly.
I try really hard not to pick up any of these faces… even though I have worn all three at some point.

6. Lust has no respect of persons.

Chile… lust does not care what you committed to.
It will jump your fence like a stray dog and ruin your backyard.
Lust cannot be “managed.” It must be fled.
And this is not just sexual — this includes all the lusts of the flesh.

7. Dating is more about discernment than devotion.

I had to unlearn the idea that discernment only applies to red flags.
If you only notice what’s wrong with someone and never what’s right, that’s not discernment — that’s a critical spirit.
True discernment picks up the green flags too.

8. Turn off the news.

Stay informed, not overwhelmed.
I signed up for CNN’s Top 5 newsletter and called it a day.
Constant news consumption will wreck your nervous system.

9. Practice the Pomodoro method.

Why was I staring at screens for hours like a machine?
My brain works way better when I take a 2–5 minute break every 25 minutes.

10. If you’re hungry, angry, lonely, or tired… do not make a decision.

HALT.
Dr. Anita Phillips really saved my life with this one.

11. It’s not about making the right decision. It’s about making the decision right.

I cried when I heard a psychologist say this.
Because it finally freed me from the anxiety of perfection.

12. To honor means to heavily consider.

Honor is not blind loyalty.
Honor means something weighs heavy to you.
It matters.
You consider it deeply, even if you disagree.

13. Use your free will wisely.

Free will is a blessing… and a responsibility.
Just because it’s allowed doesn’t mean it’s aligned.

14. You will learn humility — intentionally or by force.

The choice is yours.
I recommend choosing humility before life chooses it for you.

15. Crashing out is not cute. You can actually go to jail.

Self-control is a blessing.
Let’s all calm down.

16. You could be walking around here undiagnosed. Go see a psychiatrist.

Some things are not “spiritual.”
Some things are chemical, neurological, hormonal, genetic, traumatic, or clinical.
Wisdom is knowing the difference.

17. Do not run from joy.

Joy is vulnerable.
When joy comes, sit in it. Let it hold you.
Just an ounce can carry you through a whole season.

18. Everything in life is meant to be felt.

Not everything needs fixing.
Some things just need feeling.
Feelings are not failures — they are signals.

19. Advice is exactly that… advice.

People speak from their lens.
You still get to choose what’s right for you.

20. Whatever you do… do not leave Jesus.

Life is hard enough WITH Him.
I cannot imagine it without Him.

21. Nobody knows anything actually.

Everyone is guessing.
Everyone is trying.
Everyone is projecting the best version of themselves online.
Relax.

22. If you want to live… you have to get rid of people pleasing, comparison, and idolizing humans.

Even the most amazing people are still human.
No one deserves to sit in God’s seat in your heart.

23. You should not always be suffering and sacrificing.

This martyr complex is not holiness.
You’re allowed to have ease.
You’re allowed to have rest.
You’re allowed to have joy.

24. Just existing is okay too.

Not every season is about productivity.
Sometimes your job is to breathe and be.

25. You’re more than qualified for the role… you’re just not 30 yet.

Companies want experience they refuse to give.
Your time is coming.
Keep going.